Totes Muh Goats and Water Floats

Alright.

Here's the deal.

This blog was created so I could type out my experiences in college (my dad's idea...) so I wouldn't forget them and when I'm old and too fragile to get my party on I can reread these and chuckle to myself.

BUT.

One problem.

I obviously haven't been updating this that often ( don't worry I'm not quitting ) and I know it's a bummer...

I haven't been adding my experiences because they aren't really appropriate and could potentially (if seen by the wrong people) get me in trouble that I really don't want to deal with. This blog is linked right from my Facebook and although I'm not friends with my parents ( even though my mom knows most of my adventures...) I'm friends with people who could use my writings (out of obligation) to ruin my life. Ahahahah.

I will be keeping a VERY DETAILED account of some of the GREATEST and WORST moments in my life that have occurred during my freshman year. Just not on this blog... at least not for a while.

I'll be typing them up in ol' trusty Microsoft Word and will eventually archive them here (once I'm in the clear zone). If you'd like to see them (especially if you know you're apart of them hahaha) you can ask me and I'll def send you a copy!

Not only did my dad inspire me to keep my life updated, but also Tucker Max. [ insert your judgments here ] I read his first book "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell" and it was great. Now, don't get me wrong his life is RIDICULOUS and I in no way aspire to be like him (can you blame me for enjoying trashy books?) but I like that he basically journaled his craziest moments!

So there you go my friends. Maybe I'll make a more anonymous blog account to start adding my stories. If I did that though I'd have to change the names of the people and places involved which is annoying and I'm not that great at nicknames haha.

So that's all for now (:

Have a safe winter break!

Lana

I believe in yesterday.

My last blog was right before fall break.

It's been a while since fall break.

Before I ramble on I should maybe try to introduce what I'm going to type about in this blog...

I'm pretty sure all of my posts up till now have been about all of the exciting aspects of college. (Plus a couple downers - like parking tickets...) but I don't think I've ever really gotten into the shit that goes on in college.

This isn't a ranting... well... actually it could turn into one. (Who doesn't enjoy a rant or two every now and then?)

Since fall break (in fact since the very first day of break at 3pm...) I've been relishing in the typical college scene. You may interpret that however you'd like, because I'd rather not get too extremely explicit. I've been relishing in this spirit almost every single weekend since that Wednesday. And I'll admit I've had a fucking blast. I've made a lot of friends and some fond memories.

As much as I like going out and having fun though I've realized that these weekends of fun haven't really set me any farther towards my ultimate... goal? Actually I'm not going to use the word goal because that seems really douchey to me lol. Anyways... I'm not saying I'd like to rewind the times I've had and change anything (isn't there a 'no regrets' saying thats applicable somewhere??) but this experience in college is one of the easiest and hardest for me to understand.

In high school I never really partied that hard. In fact I only started really getting into it Christmas break my senior year (late bloomer I know...) I've always been the one who liked being in control because that's my comfort zone. End of story. (Designated Driver right here) I still don't like feeling out of control (especially with body movements... although it is funny as hell) and I also don't like feeling like people have control over me. Just a few facts.

So now that I have some actual wild weekends under my belt I'm beginning to sink into my 'analytical' faze. I've just been contemplating it... and I haven't come to any conclusions either so who knows if this moment of clarity will really change anything...

The one thing I miss the most about living with just my mother is being sure of myself.

I live in a house with 50 girls. I love the situation and the people I live with, but there are moments when I just want to scream. I've never been good with big groups of girls especially because I know (and I've been guilty a few times) that girls spread gossip. Most of the times its completely harmless!! But, living here has made me doubt my actions that I would have never doubted before living in Tongie. I almost constantly worry about how some of the girls will react if something about me were to 'leak' and that isn't right. I shouldn't give two shits and I promise I never did in high school, because I knew the choices I made were my own and right for me.

Especially after my last couple of weekends I've been worried about their thoughts...

Which brings me back to why I've been contemplating going out on the weekends.

I don't know. This is mostly just rambling and I take responsibility for my actions but me doubting myself recently has been a very odd experience...

So that's the downers of college for me. That and the cost of tuition... (:

Hopefully I'll come to a happy medium with my situation and it'll turn out all right. But for the meantime I'll just go with the flow and hope my actions haven't offended anyone too badly.

3 More Days

... till fall break. Ah shit.

This past week or so has been one of my best in college so far.

It's been amazing. Really. Amazing.

I believe it started out last Sunday...

[ enter flashback scene ]

Went to Henry's (this delicious/chill coffee house) with Brenna & Emily to do some homework and also scope out other coffee drinkers/studiers. The lighting wasn't that great to read in but I still got a lot done AND was in the presence of the opposite sex (which doesn't happen a lot when you live with 50 girls!)

Went to Henry's AGAIN on Tuesday afternoon with Brenna, but didn't get a lot done. It ended up just being us trying to do homework but ended up having too much fun skyping each other while we sat side-by-side about the people in Henry's. I'm pretty sure we looked like we were baked out of our minds. Plus- if you ever go there PLEASE try their Frozen Chai. It's a fucking dream.

Thursday night I went to Abe&Jakes for the first time. It's also known as Abe&Skanks... Rape&Skanks... and other pleasant nicknames. It's a club that has Ladies Night on Thursday so two cars full of girls from Sellards went to get our dance on. There were some pretty hot guys there and it made you forget about all of the homework I have piling up (:

Friday. Oh sweet Zeus. This was probably one of the best Friday's I've had in a while. The day was pretty great (because it's friday and who doesn't love the weekends?) and then the night was 10x better. It started off with me, Emily, Charlene and Lucy getting together to go to Romp In the Hay (a fall schol hall event). It was pretty lame and of course... a vagina festival. Literally the ratio of girls to guys at those events are about 100:3. We were being the Skanky Sellardites as usual and standing by ourselves in a corner discussing womanly topics when we got the bright idea to steal a microwave. (Ours broke down the day before... and some of us only eat when there is a microwave... meaning me.) But we couldn't find one. :/ and then we wanted to carve a damn pumpkin. So we looked and looked until me and Charlene spotted the perfect pumpkin sitting alone next to a pillar. We ran up and snatched that pumpkin faster than a molester snatches little kids. We ran literally through the other schol hall with the pumpkin and made it safely back to Sellards. Then we all had a bowl of some cheesy potatoes that we heated up in Pearson's kitchen, watched a movie for exactly 60 seconds, and got ready to go out to a party I had been invited to. Went to the party- which was ballin' and lost a game of beer pong with Emily and also saw some friends from high school! We left a little later and went to another small get together for a bit before hitting the hay. Of course - more exciting stories were wrapped up in those parties (especially including what Charlene and Lucy did because they are creeps and I can't ever take them anywhere! lol) but I'll just keep those between myself and the girls :)

This Saturday I went to the John Lennon art exhibit and it was amazing! I loved seeing all the John Lennon fans and was tempted to rip off my shirt to show my John Lennon inspired tattoo to some of the amazingly attractive guys that were there, but decided against it... I mean... there were children there. Did laundry (big whoop) and finally came back to Sellards to hang out with Emily, Lucy and Charlene again. We chilled and walked to Jimmy Johns and back and loved life.

Sunday Funday. Except not at all. Its the end of the weekend and not only do I have tons of homework (thanks to two exams I have this coming week) but I just don't want to do anything. Brenna gets back today!! I'm super excited cuz I really missed my roomie !! We plan on going out to Henry's again so at some point I'll have to actually shower and look somewhat decent.

Bahhh. I hope you found this entry exciting - although I realize it's not really haha. I just needed to make sure I recorded this week somehow so I didn't forget!

Aaaah college. It really has been the time of my life and it's only half way through the FIRST semester!! I know there will be soooo much more to come and I'm ready.

-Lana (Tana? Jana? Rihanna? I need a new name to go dancing with so drunk guys can actually use it.... )

P.s I need to take pictures and upload them so this blog doesn't look so effing boring. (:

Life Lessons 101

Firstly- I'm so fucking happy it's almost Thursday. Like this week is being ridiculously long.

Seriously.

Secondly- I am aware it's been a while since I posted, but with only 1 follower I figured who really cares? And I don't have time to sit around and type this shiz bahaha. :)

Yea yea yea.

So I titled this "Life Lessons" because it seemed like a great way to catch the attention of those seeking advice.

1. Don't wear a dress on an extremely windy day down by Clinton lake and try to climb down to the water with other people around. You will most likely regret not wearing those spandex shorts and feel like the least graceful person in the entire universe.

2. Don't go swimming in Clinton lake. The water is freezing. The rocks are sharp and slippery. The sun is too bright. The waves are basically a tsunami of terror waiting to drown you. Although you will look like a bad ass... you also look kinda crazy. To the dude who did this - nice dread locks!! You're like 50 years old and rockin' em! Still stupid idea though.

3. Did you know that Dr. Kellogg introduced Kellogg Corn Flakes in hopes that it would reduce masturbation?! Yea. I learned that at the sextival booth on campus. Clearly - we all need to ban corn flakes. I mean, what?

4. Don't stay up till 1am choreographing dances with your roomie instead of sleeping! All of those neck rolls and body pops will leave your body aching the next day, BUT you will have some killer moves for the next dance. ;)

5. Don't EVER take Philosophy: Argument & Reason. The professor may be really super awesome, but you (I) will not understand how an argument can be completely false in the "real world" but still be LOGICAL and VALID.

6. You also probably shouldn't take risque pictures as a joke and post them on your friends FB wall. It leads to a lot of awkwardness, but remember I said 'probably' so that means I won't follow my own advice lol.

Hmmm 6. That sounds like enough advice for one post! I will update some other time about men advice because I feel like you should learn from the mistakes I will obviously make. I'm a fool and suck at flirting so I know you will laugh. :)

Have a grand evening. I'm banking on at least 8 hours of sleep tonight. FUCK YEA!

Lana Banana is ouuuttttt.

4.

Thank God I'm Fresh

It's FRIDAY.

GET EXCITED.

This week wasn't as interesting as last week... (So just stop reading now you know you want to) No parking tickets. No hot men giving advice.

But there were still hot men. Just not giving advice. Which I guess is cool because they shouldn't really talk anyways, I mean, they're just there to look at. Who cares if they have something to say? Unless they have a nice mouth and I can watch it while they speak...

Ok. So that all was a joke in case you missed it. (:

Tuesday in film class we watched Memento. It's ridicuuuulousss. Every three minutes I thought, "What the hell just happened?? What is he doing with those pictures?" Pretty mind blowing though so I recommend it if you wanna fry your brain trying to figure it out (:

Wednesday. I don't even remember what happened... i went to class?

Thursday was legit. I concocted (yea i like that word too) some fruit dip out of cream cheese and vanilla yogurt. It was ok. I could definitely use an improvement to that recipe... but Meredith whisked it up for me so its aight fool! We had dinner at Pearson... I'm pretty sure the table I sat at was the loudest there. So of course that's always good.

Oh oh oh oh I was finally able to watch Hercules. Who doesn't love beautiful and manly cartoon characters singing about being in love?? If I were Meg in that movie me and Herc would be getting all sorts of... you get the picture.

Oh and since Thursday is Lupi Day I stayed up way too late eatin' some cereal and talking. Got to do a little hookah which made my whole night.

Now it's Friday. I don't know why I'm still at my computer. I mean... I was invited to like uhm like... 5 parties. All at frats. I'm not scurred. I'm popular be jealous. So I have to get off now and get a quickie boob job and brow-lift in the alley behind my hall so I can meet the man of my dreams who owns an Audi. Duuuhhhh.

Triple D here I come!,

Lana.

P.s I was just kidding I don't really have anything to add here I just want to put P.s at the end of my post to seem like I had a witty statement to make. Which I don't. So... This is awkward. K bye.

Oh sunday. You are so cruel.

Where the hell did my weekend go?

I think I lost it somewhere in my laundry basket...

Uhm... anyways...

So first few speed bumps to my college life.

3 parking tickets. (Each $20 and I immediately appealed them. Fuck tha police! ... jk. don't arrest me. love you. )

And my car was backed into. It was parked right behind hers. In clear sight. Like how the fuck do you manage that?

BAH! So that was was a stressful two days.

Heard my voice on the radio. KJHK (90.7). Thursday. No biggie... but maybe I should take voice lessons for speaking because I sound like a freak. Maybe some guys like that though? (Call me if you do ;) )

Let's see what did I do Friday.

AAAHHHH SHIIITTTT FOUNTAIN DANCE.

I just peed a little. It was pretty exciting. The fountain got me wet.

(That's what she said!) .... Real original i know.

Oh and because I know Bekah will read this... I enjoyed our little bump' n' grind session by the fountain. Tell all your friends. :)

Saturday. Oh I slept in an hour past my alarm for my DJ shift. My bad :( but thank god for KJ.

Did a little sight-seeing in the AM of Sunday.

Sunday-day. Just slept and finished homework. Aren't I fucking cool? OH. And I bought a book from Borders.

So basically- shitty car problems but other than that. Eh. Ok. I feel like I need something witty to end this post with.

No thank you.

Except- why didn't anyone tell me the latest fashion fad was wearing designer flip flops that matched your purse? CUZ I'M BROKE! and that seems too cool/lame for me. That's why (:

Ah skeet skeet-

Lana

Humpy Time

Happy Hump Day!

But for real now... I'm half way through the first full week of classes and so far all I can think about is, "OMG I DONT WANT TO DO MY HOMEWORK RIGHT NOW BUT I HAVE TO OR IM GOING TO LIVE IN A DOUBLE WIDE MY WHOLE LIFE."

Did that seem too dramatic? Actually the homework isn't too bad because I happen to like all of my classes so reading the material is ok.

Oh. And for any girls in the future that claim to hang out with Tommy Lee. Just... Don't. Because what I really want to say to you is, "Did you get tested?"

So I'm sitting in my room all by my lonesome while watching Ghost Hunters. I really enjoy this down time to myself. But I'm about to go ghost hunting in my hall because I'm thinkin there has to be some kind of ghost here that wants me to find it. I'm just sayin'.

Let's see... anything else interesting in my life right now? Probably not at the moment but I'm excited for the weekend because it seems to me that crazy ridiculous stuff always happens.

And I wanna blog about it.

Right Neoow!

So sorry for this lame posty post. I'll have to add some pictures and vids soon! And that reminds me. My iPhone 4 arrived yesterday. I'm getting today. Succckkkk itttttt.

Haha buh bye now.

Lannnaaaaa

HUGE UPDATE YOU MUST READ THIS NOW.

So I know I just made this post this morning but something spectacular just happened in my life. It's 2:00 and I'm sitting with my friend Sarah in our lobby. She's giving me a lesson on men and eye contact.

APPARENTLY: when you make eye contact with a guy you aren't supposed to break the eye contact. EVER.

I didn't know this. I always break eye contact. I don't like awkward eye contact situations. So we argued for a bit about it and she said something about it showing weakness if you break the eye contact- plus the eye contact means you're interested. Her point being - she has a boyfriend and I do not. Ouch... Anyways... We asked my room mate Brenna her opinion on the matter when a VERY EXTREMELY GODS CREATION MAN OF SEX was in our presence (not really sure who he was but he had a key to our hall and was in the same room). Sarah made her argument again and asked Brenna what she thought about the eye contact - Should you keep it or break it? Then... something magnificent happened. This BEAUTIFUL CREATURE as he was walking out our front door said two simple words to live by : "Keep it". Just that. It was like a miracle from god. Or... whoever. (:

So I lose. Sarah wins once again. If a man of that sexiness says "Keep it". I'm deffffff keepin it. (:

Nap star

Wow.

So much has happened in the first week of school.

Our schol hall has been serenaded by two boy halls. I got two roses!

Woahh.... popular. Not really. :)

It's the second day of classes and they're all pretty kick ass. I actually didn't even have to go to two of them... at least until next week. Of course I already have homework so I'll be camping out at one of the libraries this weekend.

Did I mention that there are beautiful men everywhere?? I mean... I'm just saying I kinda noticed it. A little.

And if you're in Lawrence in the near future you NEED NEED NEED to go to Java Break off of Mass St. because it is amazing. And open 24/7.

Starting tomorrow at 6am I'll be DJing at KJHK (90.7) with Krista Jobst. Just sayin' it'll be legit.

Well I'm about to deuce out from my hall and go shop around with my roomie Brenna. A little boy scouting maybe :) I'll update this as soon as possible.

-Llllaaaaannnnnaaa

PS: Btw I've become an obsessive napper. For real. If I have an hour to spare. I nap. And I love it.

Rock Chalk Jayhawk

Wow-everything-is-happening-so-fast-i-don't-have-time-to-breathe.

That's exactly what my first day at KU has been like.

I assume this is probably what it was like for all of the new freshmen arriving on campus... At least I hope.

From choosing my bunk bed, to meeting my roomies and shooing my eager parents out the door it's been constant chaos. I kinda like it. (:

The women in my schol hall are amazing. My roomies are amazing. The frat boys who live down my street and play bball without shirts are also -- AMAZING.

Ooh and I happen to already have a list of things I need to buy soon ( I was so afraid I'd brought to much stuff at first) and one of those items is a toothbrush. Ooops (: I forgot. But it's whatever because there are literally a MILLION stores in Lawrence that are open 24/7 and taking the buses around town will def be an experience...

Oh gosh I've already got some pretty legit stories. Waiting in line for snow cones, after getting some mad air brush ink, a student started pop &locking. I guess that's what it's called? I'm not entirely sure, but it was fantastic.

Oh oh oh oh. I can't forget being serenaded by the men in a fellow schol hall with their guitars and manly man voices. One of the stunning guitarists gave me a rose. (: I reeaaaallllyyyy like it here. But... I'm sure I'll run into conflict soon haha.

Peace -

Lana