Life Lessons 101

Firstly- I'm so fucking happy it's almost Thursday. Like this week is being ridiculously long.

Seriously.

Secondly- I am aware it's been a while since I posted, but with only 1 follower I figured who really cares? And I don't have time to sit around and type this shiz bahaha. :)

Yea yea yea.

So I titled this "Life Lessons" because it seemed like a great way to catch the attention of those seeking advice.

1. Don't wear a dress on an extremely windy day down by Clinton lake and try to climb down to the water with other people around. You will most likely regret not wearing those spandex shorts and feel like the least graceful person in the entire universe.

2. Don't go swimming in Clinton lake. The water is freezing. The rocks are sharp and slippery. The sun is too bright. The waves are basically a tsunami of terror waiting to drown you. Although you will look like a bad ass... you also look kinda crazy. To the dude who did this - nice dread locks!! You're like 50 years old and rockin' em! Still stupid idea though.

3. Did you know that Dr. Kellogg introduced Kellogg Corn Flakes in hopes that it would reduce masturbation?! Yea. I learned that at the sextival booth on campus. Clearly - we all need to ban corn flakes. I mean, what?

4. Don't stay up till 1am choreographing dances with your roomie instead of sleeping! All of those neck rolls and body pops will leave your body aching the next day, BUT you will have some killer moves for the next dance. ;)

5. Don't EVER take Philosophy: Argument & Reason. The professor may be really super awesome, but you (I) will not understand how an argument can be completely false in the "real world" but still be LOGICAL and VALID.

6. You also probably shouldn't take risque pictures as a joke and post them on your friends FB wall. It leads to a lot of awkwardness, but remember I said 'probably' so that means I won't follow my own advice lol.

Hmmm 6. That sounds like enough advice for one post! I will update some other time about men advice because I feel like you should learn from the mistakes I will obviously make. I'm a fool and suck at flirting so I know you will laugh. :)

Have a grand evening. I'm banking on at least 8 hours of sleep tonight. FUCK YEA!

Lana Banana is ouuuttttt.

4.

Thank God I'm Fresh

It's FRIDAY.

GET EXCITED.

This week wasn't as interesting as last week... (So just stop reading now you know you want to) No parking tickets. No hot men giving advice.

But there were still hot men. Just not giving advice. Which I guess is cool because they shouldn't really talk anyways, I mean, they're just there to look at. Who cares if they have something to say? Unless they have a nice mouth and I can watch it while they speak...

Ok. So that all was a joke in case you missed it. (:

Tuesday in film class we watched Memento. It's ridicuuuulousss. Every three minutes I thought, "What the hell just happened?? What is he doing with those pictures?" Pretty mind blowing though so I recommend it if you wanna fry your brain trying to figure it out (:

Wednesday. I don't even remember what happened... i went to class?

Thursday was legit. I concocted (yea i like that word too) some fruit dip out of cream cheese and vanilla yogurt. It was ok. I could definitely use an improvement to that recipe... but Meredith whisked it up for me so its aight fool! We had dinner at Pearson... I'm pretty sure the table I sat at was the loudest there. So of course that's always good.

Oh oh oh oh I was finally able to watch Hercules. Who doesn't love beautiful and manly cartoon characters singing about being in love?? If I were Meg in that movie me and Herc would be getting all sorts of... you get the picture.

Oh and since Thursday is Lupi Day I stayed up way too late eatin' some cereal and talking. Got to do a little hookah which made my whole night.

Now it's Friday. I don't know why I'm still at my computer. I mean... I was invited to like uhm like... 5 parties. All at frats. I'm not scurred. I'm popular be jealous. So I have to get off now and get a quickie boob job and brow-lift in the alley behind my hall so I can meet the man of my dreams who owns an Audi. Duuuhhhh.

Triple D here I come!,

Lana.

P.s I was just kidding I don't really have anything to add here I just want to put P.s at the end of my post to seem like I had a witty statement to make. Which I don't. So... This is awkward. K bye.